It was Carrie Bradshaw who once said 'Sometimes there is nothing harder than being happy for somebody else, like extremely successful people who are 27'. And boy, was she right.
I've struggled with this several times. How is it that someone who is just out of school has a better job than I do? I've been out of school for 6 years, I have worked since before that and I've even studied some more, which supposedly is a good thing.
Then again, I don't have to be happy for them, cause I don't know these people. The problem is when someone I should be happy for gets that job or gets engaged or has just bought a new house/car.
Personal and professional jealousy suck. You really want to be happy for your friends, and you are, but it still gets to you, it gets to me anyway (please tell me I'm not alone here.) Deep down I can't help but wonder why them and not me. It just feels sometimes like some people have all the luck. My best friend and I have this ongoing thing when every time we hear good news from one of our friends we feel like the universe is playing favoritism.
And then, I read somewhere that 'It is NOT a competition'. Life, that is. This was hard for me to come to terms with as I am and have always been a competitive person. I've busted my ass all my life to be the best that I can be at whatever it is that I do, and I like to think that I have succeeded. But this statement, could not be truer. We all do things at our own pace. What is good for others might not be good for me... And that is where Amy Poehler's quote comes in. It is one of the best things I have come across lately:
'Good for her! Not for me.' That is the motto women should constantly repeat over and over again. Good for her! Not for me.'
Instead of being jealous of what others are doing, buying, achieving, we need to think about what we are doing. We have to be thankful for what we have. We have to focus on ourselves. The only person I should compete with is me. It shouldn't be important to me what others are achieving, but what I am achieving. As long as I am happy with what I have, with what I am doing, that's all that matters. And if I am not, it is in my power to change that.
So next time I hear 'I'm getting married!', 'I got a raise!', 'I just booked a two month trip to Europe!', etcetera, etcetera, I'll be saying 'Congratulations' and being genuinely happy for them while I mentally recite 'Good for her. Not for me.'
* Image from here.