RPQ: Expectations.

Think for a second in what your life 'should' be. What do you imagine?  Is your life today the same as what you imagined?

As of earlier this month, I'm 30 years old (wow). It feels strange to write it, let alone to say it out loud. And I never thought my life would be what it is. If anyone had asked me 15 years ago what I had pictured, I would have said something different. I figured by the time I turned thirty I'd be married and maybe even had a kid. I thought I'd be living elsewhere, and that I'd be either working at the place of my dreams (wherever that was) or owning my own business. 

And a few years ago, I would have been VERY disapointed to see that my life wasn't going towards what I had imagined so many years before. But why should I be disapointed because those things didn't happen/haven't happened yet? 

Today, I'm thirty, I am not married, nowhere near getting pregnant and as of this month, unemployed, yet again. But despite the fact that my 15 year old self predictions expectations didn't come true, I am very happy. 

The truth is, we never know what is going to happen. We may have an idea of what we want in our career and in our personal lives, but my guess is, most of the time, we don't have (complete) control over it. Life happens, things change, and suddenly we find ourselves living the life we are given, instead of the life we expected when we were younger.  Now, there's nothing wrong with that, as long as we are happy.

But that's the thing with expectations. Sometimes we get caught up in what is expected of us, by our parents, teachers, family, society. And because of them, we become disappointed when we don't achieve those things, which we shouldn't, because the only expectations we should live up to are our own.

So hey, you are free. Your life is not 'supposed to be' anything, but what you want it to be. Don't let anyone's expectations determine how you should live your own life.

G.

30 things

Exactly 2 years ago on my bithday I shared a post on my former blog about 28 things I had learned in the previous year*. Today I'd like to update that list as it is pretty much current and just add a couple more items to it. This is basically a translation from that blog post from 2013. Without further ado, here it goes:

1. People don't change. It doesn't matter how hard we try to make them. It is sad, but sometimes we're better off letting go...

2. Great changes are preceded by chaos.

3. You'll never leave where you are if you don't know where you're going.

4. Start before you're ready and if you don't know where to begin, begin anywhere.

5. Sometimes on the chase of a dream we get lost and find a better one.

6. Other times, the dreams that come true are the ones we didn't know we had.

7. Dreams don't work unless we do.

8. Nothing truly great comes easily.

9. When things seem complicated, look again, always look again.

10. The only expectations we should live up to are our own.

11. Remind yourself that it is ok not to be perfect. No one is.

12. What screws us up most in life is the 'image' of what 'it should be'.

13. It doesn't matter if I'm not out and about every weekend, as long as I am ok with that.

14. Best friends aren't always those you've known the longest or those you get to see more often.

15. Living alone is great, but it is not easy or cheap.

16. It is ok to spend money on things YOU enjoy, whether it is a CH bag or paper goodies for crafting.

17. If you don't feel right on your own skin, you can't expect others to feel right around you.

18. It is totally worth it having a job that makes you happy rather than one that pays the rent but makes you miserable.

19. Even when you don't get the credit you deserve, do not doubt your abilities or your work.

20. Without the support of our loved ones, we would be nothing (ps. call your mom and dad).

21. Distance can make the heart grow fonder, but it can also make people grow apart.

22. Even though we don't always express how we feel, it doesn't mean it is not there.

23. We don't need people's approval.

24. No matter how tired or stressed we feel, we are never to neglect those we love.

25. Professional success isn't measured by how money you make, just as personal success isn't about getting married or having kids. It is about being happy.

26. It is perfectly ok to demand what we think we deserve.

27. When you love what you do, you don't work a day in your life.

28. No matter how hard things are, we'll always be able to go throw them and come back stronger.

29. Go to the dentist regularly.

30. Take care of your body: exercise, eat your veggies, drink more water, get enough sleep.

Notice how those last two are health related? Man, getting older is tough! 

g.

*Gummergal shared her list of 30 things she's learned before turning 30 on her blog. Check it out here.

RPQ: Just Do It

I read a lot of blogging tips before starting my second blog. Many of them recommended to plan ahead, to keep a notebook with you at all times to jot down ideas for blog posts, to have an 'editorial' calendar... and so on. But let's be realistic. That's great advice when you're a full time blogger, which I'm not. I have a job. I know this really shouldn't be an excuse for slacking off and not posting in the longest time, but the truth is, sometimes life just gets in the way.

In any case, I saw this image a while ago, pinned it and then instagrammed it because it made sense to me back then for a reason I now can't remember. When I was plotting to start this blog back in October, I remembered I had pinned it and things clicked: I needed to start worrying about having notebooks full of ideas of what I'd write about, that's just not how I work. 

Chances are, this hasn't shown in what I've written so far, but I feel like I can't just write on schedule. I find it hard to write the days I work as I am well, quite busy, but on days I don't, there's so much to do around the house or errands to run and as much as I'd like to dedicate myself full time to crafting and home decorating, it's not a possibility (right now). I write when things happen to me, when I find something inspiring, when I want to share something I've done or achieved. Occasionally, I'm sure, I'll post about things I love and personal stuff, maybe even recipes or my reviews of some place I visited, and this things are what life is about, and not exactly planned.

So I stopped giving myself a hard time for not coming up with more ideas to fill a journal with or for not coming up with an editorial calendar, and I just started writing some things... I wrote about adapting to a new city, starting traditions and our first Christmas living together. But then, life happened and I didn't start the blog when I wanted to and then it was 2015 already and I hadn't posted about Halloween so it didn't make sense anymore (Do you ever write stuff that doesn't get posted because of timing?).

If I had waited until I had 365 blog post ideas, I'd still be working on that and this blog wouldn't exist. I didn't need to get ready, I just needed to start.

The greatness about this quote is that it applies for many things in life. Do you always stall things because you don't feel ready? Believe me, you don't need to be, just do it! Life is what happens while you're busy making plans (or getting ready) ;)

g.

*Image via here.

It's Never Too Late

Yesterday I was earlier than usual at my classroom and I ran into Gabriela for the second time in the past month. Only I hadn't met her before. She introduced herself and as I was prepping for class, she started asking me questions and we engaged in conversation. Gabriela is an adult college student at the university where I teach. She told me how she had studied 'interior design' back when she was in college and that later in her life she realized she wanted to become an architect. Only now had she found the time to enroll back in school to pursue her lifelong dream.

She called me over to show me something, a video she had downloaded to her computer and she told me she wanted me to see it. I was a little freaked out at first not knowing what she was about to show me, but I went ahead and saw it with her. It was a video of a girl runner (only later I found out her name is Heather Dorniden) who falls in the midst of a race, and is left behind by the other three girls. But then, she gets up. And then, she catches up with them. Finally, she ends up winning the race.

As I stood there beside her with my whole mind in awe after what I had just seen and what it had meant, Gabriela told me that video had made her realize that 'it is never too late to go after what you want'. Even if you fall (fail), you can always get back up, continue to run and win the race.  So inspiring.

Soon after that, my students began to arrive at the classroom and I got distracted with them. When I turned around to say goodbye to Gabriela, she was gone. I can only hope I run into her again sometime soon. Meanwhile, here's the video she showed me.

What's stopping you from going after what YOU want? Get up and go get it. Yes, you can.

g.

RPQ: Jealousy

It was Carrie Bradshaw who once said 'Sometimes there is nothing harder than being happy for somebody else, like extremely successful people who are 27'. And boy, was she right.

I've struggled with this several times. How is it that someone who is just out of school has a better job than I do? I've been out of school for 6 years, I have worked since before that and I've even studied some more, which supposedly is a good thing. 

Then again, I don't have to be happy for them, cause I don't know these people. The problem is when someone I should be happy for gets that job or gets engaged or has just bought a new house/car.

Personal and professional jealousy suck. You really want to be happy for your friends, and  you are, but it still gets to you, it gets to me anyway (please tell me I'm not alone here.) Deep down I can't help but wonder why them and not me. It just feels sometimes like some people have all the luck. My best friend and I have this ongoing thing when every time we hear good news from one of our friends we feel like the universe is playing favoritism.  

And then, I read somewhere that 'It is NOT a competition'. Life, that is. This was hard for me to come to terms with as I am and have always been a competitive person. I've busted my ass all my life to be the best that I can be at whatever it is that I do, and I like to think that I have succeeded. But this statement, could not be truer. We all do things at our own pace. What is good for others might not be good for me... And that is where Amy Poehler's quote comes in. It is one of the best things I have come across lately:

'Good for her! Not for me.' That is the motto women should constantly repeat over and over again. Good for her! Not for me.'

Instead of being jealous of what others are doing, buying, achieving, we need to think about what we are doing. We have to be thankful for what we have. We have to focus on ourselves. The only person I should compete with is me. It shouldn't be important to me what others are achieving, but what I am achieving. As long as I am happy with what I have, with what I am doing, that's all that matters. And if I am not, it is in my power to change that.

So next time I hear 'I'm getting married!', 'I got a raise!', 'I just booked a two month trip to Europe!', etcetera, etcetera, I'll be saying 'Congratulations' and being genuinely happy for them while I mentally recite 'Good for her. Not for me.'

g.

* Image from here.