Fears

Day 29: What are some of your fears?

This is as personal as it gets, at least for now. I don't think I've ever spoken out loud about the things I'm going to share here, but something tells me a lot of people share some of these too...

1. Death. I know this is inevitable and the only thing that is certain in life. However, I'm terrified at the thought of it. My own, A's, family, our dogs. Losing someone unexpectedly has got to be the most horrible thing that can happen to their loved ones. I can't imagine going through something like this, moreover, recovering from it. And on the other hand, going through someone else's sickness, watching them suffer as they try to fight it? such impotence, I just can't deal. As for me,  there are so many things I want to do and experience in life before I go, that dying scares the crap out of me, which leads to my next fear.

2. Time. Not having enough time for things I want to do or enjoy. Not spending enough time with my parents, grandparents, family, friends. Not doing things I can, while I can (travel before having to worry about a car, a house, kids...amongst other things). They say there are times in life for everything, but we get so caught up in the day to day sometimes (working, paying the bills...) that we don't realize how time flies. I see it even more now with the puppies. They are getting so big and gaining weight and developing their own personalities. Where are my tongue sticking out puppies?

3. Not being able to have babies when the time comes. Let's face it, I'm not getting any younger. I know times have changed, but by the time my mom was my age, she had two kids and one more on the way. I'm not married, not even enganged. Not that I have to be in order to have babies. However, I don't think the time is right in my life to start pro-creating. I really want to be a mom, and I'm terrified that by the time we decide the time is right for that, it will be hard or dangerous or maybe even impossible. And if I get to have them, back to fear number 2 (not having enough time with them) or fear number 4:

4. The end of the world. How fatalistic, but seriously. I love movies about this topic (Armageddon, Deep Impact, 2012, The Day After Tomorrow, etc), but coincidentally the leading characters always have just the right skill/profession/acquaintance they need in order to be saved/save the planet. That however is not my case. If the world came to an end, neither my architecture degree nor my master would save me from such catastrophes. Every time there was an earthquake (when I was living in Mexico City), small as it may have been, I was terrified. Just the thought of the world ending used to give me panic attacks in a 'waking up sweating in the middle of the night' kind of way. I can't imagine having to witness how humankind ends, whether it is via an asteroid, earthquake, tsunami, alien invasion, zombie apocalypse or mass murder. And so, even if death itself terrifies me as well, I'd rather die before this happens.

I've had these for a long time. Some more than others, obviously. But that's not to say that I have stopped living due to worrying about them. It's just like that quote on the cover image says. You can't stop living. Life's too short to live in fear.

How about you? do you agree with any of this? or is it just me?

g.

*Cover image via here.

Prized Possessions

Day 22: What is your most prized possession and why?

When asked this question before, my answer has always been the same: my most prized possessions are two stuffed animals my grandmother (my dad's mother) bought for me growing up. She was a professor with a degree in special education whom we lost from cancer way too soon. She was caring and loving and really fun. These bears are a Fozzie Bear from the Muppet Babies and a rattle Teddy Bear. I actually remember getting both of them around the time I was 4-5 years old. The store where we got Fozzie still exists in a really old shopping center in my hometown. As for the other one, it was originally supposed to be for my (then) baby sister (who was actually still on the way) but I loved it so much, I kept it for myself.

My bears at home in Veracruz

There's absolutely nothing special about them, except the fact they were gifts from my grandma. They have both seen better times (Fozzie's nose was bitten off by my first dog, Spanky and the Teddy has had more washes than anyone could count). They are old and ragged, but I love them so much.

For as long as I can remember, they traveled with me around Mexico, the United States, Canada and even got to go around Europe during my time in England. They lived with me through the Disney ICP, my holiday in Puerto Rico and my year in Sheffield. Finally they moved to Mexico City with me after returning, where we lived for almost three years.

Here in a hostel in Dublin (pardon the mess)

About a year and a half ago when I moved here with A, I decided it was time to let go of them. Not in a 'get rid of them' kind of way, but I just didn't think they belonged in my 'adult house' with my boyfriend. And so I keep them in my childhood bedroom back home in Veracruz where I know my mom keeps them safe until it is time for them to meet their new owners (hopefully my kids, some day).

I have plenty of things I love back at home, but these are definitely the ones I cherish the most. What are your most prized posessions?

g.

*Cover image via here.

A Healthier Lifestyle

I've been wanting to write this post for a year. Only back then, (and actually now again) other people* started posting about this same topic and I didn't want to be another one. Now I'm actually glad I waited because this post is nothing like it would have been last year. And actually, it is nothing like these other people's posts. Anyway...

Last year, just around this same time, I kept telling A how I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. I was about to turn 30 and I wanted to feel great about it, rather than self conscious as I was feeling. This was mostly due to the fact that I had put on a lot of weight, more than I had ever before, and I wasn’t happy about it. My clothes didn’t fit anymore and I looked at myself in the mirror and didn’t recognize myself anymore.

My life is a constant struggle between my love for food and not wanting to get fat (originally in spanish)

I have struggled with weight for my whole life. It started when I was about to enter secondary school and never stopped. There have been times when I’ve been pretty content with my general appearance, although some people believed I wasn’t healthy at those times. But mostly I oscillate around what is supposed to be a healthy weight for my height and complexion.

However, since I moved to Puebla, where you basically can’t walk anywhere (unlike in Mexico City), my life has become way more sedentary with hardly any physical activity other than occasionally walking to a bus stop or going up and down the stairs. Moreover, since A and I are no longer paying two rents and traveling back and forth to see each other, we have more resources + time to spend together, so we choose to go out and eat.

Just your typical breakfast order at Le Pain Quotidien: pastries and chilaquiles

We love food and trying different places. We did that when I lived in Mexico City, but because he lived in Puebla, we could only do it maybe twice a month. But with me here, we can go out any night we want, and we did for a long time, sometimes more than twice a week. And no, we never skipped desert.

Naturally, after a few months this came to show and it came to a point where I had to do something  about it (i.e. constantly complain to A about how fat I was). And thus, being the supportive sport he is, A sought out a nutritionist for us to see. 

We have been seeing this doctor for the past year and we have yet (each) to reach our goals, but we are taking it easy. Being on a diet is hard. It requires a lot of self control and will, which are things we sometimes lack. It becomes specially harder when there’s a special occasion (think weddings, birthdays, christmas…) or we travel (whether is home to Veracruz or Mexico City for a weekend), because it messes up our whole routine.

That said, our diet is not really hard at all. Because we are trying to lose fat, we aren’t allowed certain foods which would be obvious, but other than that, I think the hardest part is actually eating so much at all times. Prepping 5 different meals a day is also kind of a drag and definitely time consuming, but one good thing about it all is that we are spending more time together (in the kitchen) and we are learning new recipes/trying new things which we will keep eating long after we reach our goals.

May 2015, when we had just started seeing the nutritionist / September 2015, 4 months and many kilos later

Eating healthier has brought a lot of good things for us. Not only the fact that we have lost weight and actually feel lighter, but also in terms of the functions of our bodies. Like after not eating certain things for a while and then eating them again, realizing they made my stomach upset or caused certain reactions. I would not have noticed these things otherwise, and now I know which things I should avoid.

Breakfast for dinner at IHOP = bad choice but oh so good!

Going through this experience has taught me a lot about food, but also about me and my (bad) eating habits. It seems like I’ve been eating wrong my entire life. Not only in terms of choices (two sunny side up eggs, sausage, bacon, hash brown and a side of chocolate chip pancakes + chocolate milkshake for dinner, thank you) but also in terms of quantities (I should eat 1 hot dog/quesadilla + a bowl of fruit as opposed to 2 of the same). It has also become obvious that I use food as a reward for achieving something but also as a consolation prize when otherwise, which is totally wrong (#sorrynotsorry) but seriously though, the biggest lesson has been how it is all about balance.

I still might need a guide after I’m done with the regime, but I’ve learned that our bodies need all types of food groups to function properly (even fats and carbs) and it’s really all about how you chose to combine these in order to have a balanced diet.

This pretty much describes it!

Although It seems like we’ve been on a diet forever, we haven’t really been on a diet the whole time. We are pretty flexible with it. Like if we are home for the weekend, I’m not skipping the mandatory breakfast at La Parroquia with my dad or if we go to Mexico City, there’s no way in hell I’m having a fruit smoothie over pizza at Cancino. Which is basically why we haven’t reached our goals. I don’t want to feel guilty for eating something I’m craving, I’ve done that before and it’s not good and gets you nowhere. I like to think that we are not really ‘on a diet’, but just trying a healthier lifestyle, with occasional slips ;)

G.

*You can read those other posts I was talking about here, here, here and here.

Closing Time

A and I have known each other for almost 8 years, dated for almost 6 and lived together for over a year. Now, since exactly about one month, we have also been business partners.

After what seemed like forever, I worked at an office building architectural models, and although I loved it to death, it wasn't loving me back as much. I've said this already, the hours were (extremely) long and the pay wasn't worth all the 'complications', like getting into constant fights with A over not being home at decent hours, having my mom worried all the time that I was leaving the office at 3 in the morning on a regular basis, and many, many more.

So... I quit. 

It wasn't as deliberate as that. I had thought about it for a long time, but because I wasn't certain of my financial situation, I had been postponing it. Just when it seemed like it was all going to work out for the best, I got bad news, and so I postponed it again. And then the greatest thing happened.

A asked me to officially join him in business!!!

I've also mentioned before that A has been working on independent projects for a long time now, alternating his personal work with his other work. And fortunately, it has got to a point where projects are so big (and so many) that he can't continue to do it alone. So here I come.

For the last month, I've been working from home, alternating between my classes at uni and our work. We don't see the point in renting out office space since we have a spare bedroom, and so we have make it comfortable enough so that we both can work there when necessary, or in my case, all the time. It's not much so far, but it is what we need and we are really happy about how it is turning out.

I look forward to transform this space into the studio of my dreams (sorry, our dreams) and to share this process as we go here on the blog.

Quitting my job was the best decision I've made in the longest time. Nothing beats being the owner of my time, creating my schedule and working with my best friend in something we are both passionate about and most importantly is ours and is getting us towards where we want to go. Getting to go out to dinner or coffee dates mid week, doesn't suck either :)

So there it is. I can officially check that goal off my list.

G.

* Image via here.

2016 Goals

I don't know what it is, but every time I'm about to leave for a holiday at my hometown, I think I'm gonna get so much work done, as in, writing for the blog, of course. However, from the time I step in my childhood home, I become useless. Every. Single. Time.

One of the things I wanted to write about was a recap of the past year. But since that didn't happen and it's now 2016, I figured it was more appropriate to focus on the present/future. So here it is, my list of goals for the new year.

Call more / Text less.

I remember the days when I'd talk on the phone for hours. But those were also the days before internet, young adult relationships and full time jobs. Now I'm lucky if I get to actually talk to my friends on the phone twice a year (on birthdays). Since we all have smart phones these days, being apart is made easier by apps like whatsapp, software like Skype or even social networks like Facebook or Instagram, which all allow us to be in constant communication with loved ones. Although nothing compares to actually seeing each other and spending quality time together (like we did on the holidays), talking on the phone allows for a closer kind of interaction, which is why this year I've decided I'm going to try really hard to call my friends and family more, rather than text them.

Go on more adventures.

A and I live in a state which is very popular for being the one Mexican state with the most 'Pueblos Mágicos' (Magic Villages), none of which we have ever visited. This year I hope that, by achieving a couple more goals on this list, we will be able to explore a little more of what this place has to offer.

Travel. Travel. Travel.

Not only do we both live away from our families and friends, but we also have friends and family who live elsewhere. My best friend got married in India and moved to London. My brother lives in Playa del Carmen. And last year two of my best friends moved away to other states as well. This year we plan on going abroad for a very special friend's wedding, but other than that, I'd love it if we could take a few weekends to go visit loved ones.

Take more photos (and actually print them).

Before last year ended, I took to myself to empty the memory card of my DSLR camera. On my computer, I usually save photos by month and then by event. As it turns out, there were months with no photos and moreover, around 20 photos (if not less) of A and me. How did that happen? I have a pretty good idea, which is why this year I'm making it a point to not let that happen again.

Stay healthy.

Since the middle of last year, A and I have been living a healthier lifestyle (a full story I plan to tell at some point), with the exception of the occasional weekend cheat meal as registered in my Instagram accounts. Eating well isn't really that hard and if you take care of yourself during the week, there's no reason why you can't treat yourself once in a while. We took a little break from these habits during the holidays (obvs) but we are now back on track and highly motivated to achieve our goals. 

Update/Decorate our house.

We have lived in this house for almost a year now and it still isn't nowhere near coming to feel like it is completely ours. Sure, walls have been painted and things have been placed where I want them, but still there are many things I want to do around here. Hang art and photos, add plants (maybe even hang them too), add storage, paint some pieces here and there. I hope to complete some of these things at some point this year.

Buy a car.
When I was living in Mexico City I never thought about buying a car. It just wasn't necessary. I lived pretty much walkind distance from everywhere I needed to go, and if I didn't, I could just take the metro or metrobús. But here in Puebla is a different story. Although I've already manage to find all the routes for the places I usually need to go, the truth is public transportation here is not reliable and as A and I enter a new face in our professional lives, it has become more of a necessity than a luxury.

Go on more dates with A.

Before I got my current job, back when I was only teaching twice a week, A and I used to go out at least once a week to either get coffee or dinner. But because I usually  work late, we don't get to do that anymore. Which is why another one of my goals is...

Quit my job.

Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love my job. I love the people I work with, I think we have a great team and the things we do are awesome. But it is a very ungrateful job. The hours are very long and the payment, well, isn't. It sucks that I've never been able to find a job which I love, the pay is good and the people are nice. But I once said I'd rather had a job that made me happy than one to pay the rent, and although this job does make me happy and does help pay the rent, it's messing with the really important things in my life, like my relationship.

I know what you're thinking. How am I suppose to travel, buy a car and go on dates if I quit my job? Well, that's why my last and possibly most important goal of this year is to...

Start our own company.
A and I are both architects. He has been working on projects for a while now and it is just a matter of time before I join him full time. It has been a dream for a long time and it feels like the timing is just right. 

Bonus goal!
Write more.
Also, doing some of the above will allow me to continue to write more regularly, or at least, here's hoping!

Well, there it is. I'll let you all know how things go, but in the mean time, what are your 2016 goals?

G.

30 things

Exactly 2 years ago on my bithday I shared a post on my former blog about 28 things I had learned in the previous year*. Today I'd like to update that list as it is pretty much current and just add a couple more items to it. This is basically a translation from that blog post from 2013. Without further ado, here it goes:

1. People don't change. It doesn't matter how hard we try to make them. It is sad, but sometimes we're better off letting go...

2. Great changes are preceded by chaos.

3. You'll never leave where you are if you don't know where you're going.

4. Start before you're ready and if you don't know where to begin, begin anywhere.

5. Sometimes on the chase of a dream we get lost and find a better one.

6. Other times, the dreams that come true are the ones we didn't know we had.

7. Dreams don't work unless we do.

8. Nothing truly great comes easily.

9. When things seem complicated, look again, always look again.

10. The only expectations we should live up to are our own.

11. Remind yourself that it is ok not to be perfect. No one is.

12. What screws us up most in life is the 'image' of what 'it should be'.

13. It doesn't matter if I'm not out and about every weekend, as long as I am ok with that.

14. Best friends aren't always those you've known the longest or those you get to see more often.

15. Living alone is great, but it is not easy or cheap.

16. It is ok to spend money on things YOU enjoy, whether it is a CH bag or paper goodies for crafting.

17. If you don't feel right on your own skin, you can't expect others to feel right around you.

18. It is totally worth it having a job that makes you happy rather than one that pays the rent but makes you miserable.

19. Even when you don't get the credit you deserve, do not doubt your abilities or your work.

20. Without the support of our loved ones, we would be nothing (ps. call your mom and dad).

21. Distance can make the heart grow fonder, but it can also make people grow apart.

22. Even though we don't always express how we feel, it doesn't mean it is not there.

23. We don't need people's approval.

24. No matter how tired or stressed we feel, we are never to neglect those we love.

25. Professional success isn't measured by how money you make, just as personal success isn't about getting married or having kids. It is about being happy.

26. It is perfectly ok to demand what we think we deserve.

27. When you love what you do, you don't work a day in your life.

28. No matter how hard things are, we'll always be able to go throw them and come back stronger.

29. Go to the dentist regularly.

30. Take care of your body: exercise, eat your veggies, drink more water, get enough sleep.

Notice how those last two are health related? Man, getting older is tough! 

g.

*Gummergal shared her list of 30 things she's learned before turning 30 on her blog. Check it out here.

Moving Update

This has got to be the longest moving in history, I know it definitely is for me.

WARNING: Brace yourself for a lot of text and no images.

We were supposed to move in by the first of April. We got the keys a little earlier so that we could start moving things around and we did, but we didn't want to move everything as we wanted to get everything ready before actually moving, that is cable, internet, etc. So basically, we've been living in two houses since the end of March, with most of A's clothes, many of the kitchen supplies, all of our books and part of our furniture in the new house, while the TV and our bed, along with kitchen essentials (a bowl, a plate, a glass and silverware for each of us) and a few other pieces have remained in the old one.

Let me tell you, in case it is not obvious, it is a complete hassle. The distance is not a problem as the houses are pretty much right next to each other, but I'm tired and can't wait to just live in one place where I can find EVERYTHING. I wanted to make eggs the other day for breakfast, but the oil and salt were at the new house, so I had a bowl of cereal instead (with no sugar as the sugar was of course at the new house too).

We deal with a lot of issues when it comes to water in the area, so, while the new house has perfect water pressure, it didn't have gas to heat it up or start cooking there. Meanwhile, the old house had a full tank of gas, but no water pressure whatsoever. I feel like we've been living in the opposite of civilization. Seriously, I don't know how people can live without what I consider to be basic services.

The moving hadn't happened because we didn't have gas or internet. I know these may not be good enough reasons not to move, but because we were able to stay longer in the old house, we thought we'd wait until everything was ready. We just didn't think it would take this long. Today, after almost 30 days of having requested the change of address for Internet and phone services, we finally got it installed in the new house. It was the last service we needed before moving. 

Also, we had been dealing with gas issues because the house came without a tank, and the installation was ready for a different type of gas which required us to make a new contract in our name and we needed a letter from the landlord in order to get that done. I had given up on the idea of switching back the installation as we were told it was too much trouble, but A brought in one of the plumbers he works with and he fixed everything like it was no big deal. Heavens, we have gas! It was the happiest day!

The wiring for cable had already been installed so that when we moved we could just plug in our old box and we'd be set. Still, we aren't moving yet, as the fridge, our bed and mounted TV are still at the old house (which now has no internet). 

A good thing about the fact that we haven't moved yet, is that we got the house repainted. It was recently painted by the landlord, but being the picky people we are who also happen to be architects, we didn't like the color, so we brought in people to paint it the way we wanted (before and after post coming soon!). I'm very happy with how it turned out and can't wait to start hanging things around.

We are definitely moving sometime next week, as soon as we get the remaining things in the new house. Only (close to) a month after we were supposed to! Can't even express how thrilled I am about starting (yet again) a new life in (yet another) new house. This one feels more adultsy somehow. No more paper lamps, an actual dining room (which we can't wait to reupholster)... things are getting better for us and we couldn't be happier.

Thanks for letting me share!

G.

Around Here

It's been crazy lately. A took a fall at work last week and ended up in crutches, which means I've been on nurse mode, tending to his every need. He was in a lot of pain for a few days but is feeling better now. Boy really can't complain, he's been getting the royal treatment all week.

Personally, I've enjoyed having him around to hang with. Since he's supposed to be on bed rest, he's been staying home or coming earlier from work.  We've been enjoying meals in bed (can't make the poor bloke come up and down the stairs every time) and movie afternoons with corresponding treats, for which I can't complain.

That about explains why I haven't been posting this last week. This was also the reason why we had to cancel our weekend away in Mexico City. Health comes first. But as I said, he's feeling better and will be back to his normal self next week, and hopefully so will I.

This weekend will be spent pretty much the same, watching movies and eating junk. Have a nice weekend!

g.